Merry and bright

Today is Christmas Day 2016.

Almost 6 months ago we were told Scott's cancer was incurable. I asked through snots and tears if we would have Christmas together and that's when it was suggested that we celebrate earlier. We did . In August , when it was cold and dark and sparkly with winter frost. We celebrated with friends. We did an advent countdown. We ate a traditional Christmas dinner. We exchanged gifts. Tree was decorated ( and then only partially dismantled!) candles were lit. Blessings were counted. Carols were sung. Mince pies were made and eaten.

We were told to do this, not because Scott wouldn't be with us but because Scott's condition may have  changed . Four months on and advent countdown has been done photo journal style. Christmas trees are sparkling with fairy lights, we have caught up with friends, carols have again been sung with gusto ( I do love my Christmas music) , schmaltzy Christmas movies watched and enjoyed, blessings counted again. I was recently told that I am surrounded in a bubble of love, I would agree ...(was also recently told by an almost stranger that I'm very detached...what does she know?). Christmas cards were written and signed by all our names....my husband warned not to go anywhere until my cards were sent...the envelopes were already stamped! Mince pies were once more baked and eaten and eaten by only Fiona and I ( so it's just as well Christmas only comes twice a year) and cakes were made and shared with friends.

But to add to this has been a full on month of hospital appointments. We are lucky to have such a good medical team looking after us. We are trying to get pain levels under control. The nature and position of Scott's tumour is on nerve endings and travelling as it has grown along nerve pathways which cause horrid neuropathic pains which shoot across his face at random. Horrid to watch and absolutely horrid for him to experience. Scott's energy levels depleted at times so no trips into the City this year doing festive things...only trips into the city are visits to hospital. Friends came to us rather than meeting up with them. Friends have kindly brought gifts of love ...usually in the form of food! Food is love , right? We are very grateful that these people are in our lives.

Today , Christmas Day 2016 , Scott has been knocked for six by the effects of his chemotherapy. He is sleeping . We are mooching around trying to find a cool place to be. We are used to being quiet when he's feeling unwell. We are used to him being unwell. We take each day as it comes....we celebrate the good ones, we get through the not so good ones and look forward to tomorrow being another day. The dog has been walked, he has enjoyed playing with his new toys ( you can never have too many balls ,can you Haggis?) and he has had fun cooling down in his paddling pool in the garden. We shall eat later...salad. Pavlova or trifle for pud. We shall eat under the aircon....too hot to eat outside. We shall eat all together as our family of five, we shall laugh, we shall talk, we shall wear silly hats out of crackers ( called Bon Bons here), we shall groan at cracker jokes. We shall , each in our own way, be grateful that we are all here together.

We all wish you a Merry Christmas and hope that it's everything you wish for.