Journies

We make many journies as we travel along life. We meet people, see new things, learn new ways , continue with old ways , sometimes our journey is smooth and easy and at other times it's a bit bumpy and a bit difficult. None of us know what's ahead of us , what's to come, what's waiting around the next corner.

As a family, we are now on a journey we had never hoped to be but we don't have much say in where life takes you, so we are going along for the ride. Seat belts firmly buckled and the brace position practised. ( can you tell I'm about to spend the next 25 hours on an aeroplane?)

We can see Scott's tumour progressing, we have been alarmed at the speed in which it has changed but we are reassured that these changes would have taken place in Melbourne or Kilmarnock, making this epic journey home has not sped things up.

What do you do when you know your husband is dying , that your children's father is dying ...but not as he says 'dead yet' , do you allow yourself to wallow in grief or do you put your best smile on and try and make the best of each hour, each day? Do you cry endless tears or do you laugh out loud because right now you still can together? What do you do when you thought you had a lifetime of conversations still to have? Do you sit and sob or do you still keep talking because you still can?

What do you do when you know this will be the last time you do something together ? Last  Thursday we flew into Scotland for the last time together, today we will leave Scotland for the last time together . Do you weep and wail or do you hold a hand tighter , never wanting to let go? What do you do when you see your husband say goodbye to his family , his friends and know that, that's it for them? They won't see him again, they won't be hugged tightly again. Do you weep and wail or do you push on through the emotional pain barrier and smile your brightest smile?

What you do do is bank all the love, the friendship, the kindess and most of all the laughter we have shared this past week. It's been a very bitter sweet week as we all know that this was a farewell trip, a time to be with those we wanted to be with. We feel very buoyed up on love and friendship that will sustain us through our lowly days.

We have to make the most of the good days, the well days whilst we can. We have to smile and laugh ( tears do fall but there will be plenty time for them in times to come ) , we have to make the most of life, it is for living and making the most of. We are under no illusions as to what the end destination is for our family. We don't have a happy ending but we have to try and make the journey as happy as we can. If we spent all day sad and crying we wouldn't see the simple pleasures that abound around us.

Life is absolutely  for living and for loving and most definitely  laughing .